| well today is just great my bf broke up with me i cheated on him with a taken man and my life sucks!! until.... i met this guy online on snowboard.com his name is parker!!! he is so effin hawt!!! i really like him... but i dont know how he feels about me and im about to ask him to check out my site so i bet im going to find out! lol i know i've only been chatting with him a few days but hes so nice and really cool!! i really do like him!! well in other news i went home for basically the first time since my g-pa's funral and so many memorys made it so hard to be there! i miss him soo much!! i just wish i could see him again! i went into a deep dark depression earlier and guess who brought my spirits up with out knowing it?... go on... guess... PARKER!!! hes so awesome!! well thats it for now bye!! |
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| sorry i havent updated in a while ive been busy i went to the funral on the 6th and i still couldnt beleive he was gone just like that! it was so terrible! i saw alot of ppl i havent seen in a while! well its just me and my g-ma for a while and if she moves i swear to god it will be just her and my dad bc i will not leave here! this place is my home if she were to move somewhere else in springdale that would be different! well im tired so im gunna go watch a movie or something and chat for a while then go to bed! well night ppl! good morning good afternoon good evening and goodnight!!!!!! wooooooooooo! |
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| my g-pa is gone! my g-ma called and told my uncle and he told my aunt and they left and no one cared to wake me up! now im here and im scared well thats all i wanted to say goodnight!!! |
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| hey guys its been a few days heres the good news im still alive OH WAIT THATS THE BAD NEWS! and heres more my first love cory is MARRIED!! i called his dad yesterday bc brit made me and well things were weird i was like is this cory's dad and he said yes and i was like do you know a number i could call or an address i could write to and he said no all i know is he just got out of boot camp today and hes going back to the base later for a lil while and he talked about coming here i said ok thx! and i called brit back and i was flipping out i was like holy crap wth hes coming back! omg omg omg omg omg! i was crazy! she told me to just calm down that everything was going to be ok i was like i know my one true love is coming home of course its all going to be ok and things will be more ok when im in his arms then i relized after a year and a half the guy isnt going to know my number so i told brit i was going to call back and give the number to his dad. well, i called and omg it was horrible! i was like im sorry to bother you again sir but i dont think cory knows my number and he was like ok let me go get a pencil and paper this might take a while since im on crutches i was like ok. when he got back he asked why i wanted to talk to cory so badly bc maybe he could find some way to get the info to him faster and i was like oh its nothing i just havent talked to him in a while and i miss him its been like a year or so and corys dad was like you know he's MARRIED(!) right and i could feel the tears coming and i said married? wow thats a shock but its cool im just looking for a friendship anyways! and his dad was like ok and i was like thx bye! and i called brit back and i was about to cry but she appearently didnt care which is fine bc she doesnt understand but then again i told amanda (who i never talk to anymore but will start to now) everything and she at least acted like she cared instead of just tellign me to drink coffee and take a hot bath! (like thats gunna mend my broken heart spirit and soul!!!!)
heres more bad news my g-pa is now in a simi-coma and i spent my entire night crying bc they dont expect him to make it through the weekend i walked in and immediatly started to cry and so did everyone else he yanked his caffider out (i dont knw ohow to spell that sorry!!) yesterday at 5:00 am and they had to give him meds bc it hurt his mini me really bad! and he was supposed to come out of it but he didnt! now hes in bed unable to communicate and i know he wants to i can just tell hes trying to talk! last night his brother was holding his hand and preyign for him and he said jim if you cant respond just sqeeze my hand is everything alright with you and the lord? and pa sqeezed his hand and it was so sweet i cryed though the whole night i wanted some alone time to say my goodbyes but his son (who never wanted a relationship with him b4) wouldnt leave so i just went home to see if cory had called!
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i just got back my g-pa is now un responsive to anyone but me! its so sad just to see him there i told him to squeeze my hand if he was in pain and he didnt and i told him i loved him and he did squeeze my hand so im guessing that means he loves me 2! i was upset and crying and i guess i was crying a lil louder then i thought b he squeezed my hand assureingly and i squeezed back and we made a li game out of it and about a few hours l8er i decided to come home i said my goodbyes in a weird way but at least i did i love him so much and i cant wait to be with him again in his new body without pain! i know where hes going and im going to do what i can to make sure i go there too when my time comes! thank you all for your support |
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